she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
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