I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
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