I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
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