Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
operation harelip BJ is a go
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Randomize
