What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
