So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
