She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
