so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Randomize
