We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
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I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
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My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
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