I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
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