just tell him i said nine months
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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