Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
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