he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
she peed on how many people?
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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