2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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