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??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
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i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
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Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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