i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
