Those balls look pretty dangerous.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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