i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
