Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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