I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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