I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
