will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
