I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
where are you?
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"