So drunk, too bad you don't want this
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
These People Had Regrettable One Night Stands
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
This Girl Makes Latte Art That’s Too Cute to Drink
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.