Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.