Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
id be glad to
I think im going to throw up on grandma
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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