Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
His nipple licking is glorious
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