Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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