there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
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