I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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