none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
