i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Randomize
