Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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