She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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