I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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