Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
