do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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