You really coming over, don't trick.
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
