He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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