I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
