Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
