a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
