somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
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