i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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