Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
