nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
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It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
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We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Randomize