As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
