im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize