Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
