And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
