it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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