I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
