Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize
