He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
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