just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
