yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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