i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
