Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize