I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
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