I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Randomize
