I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
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